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Crash and Burn

Crash and Burn
By NautiBitz

Info and Author's Notes: See introduction.

"No. Way!" Buffy Summers laughed uproariously as she shifted into fourth gear, zoomed up the mountainside and hit each of her tuner pre-sets. --"73 degrees in southern California" -- "Branch, and you're listening to my favorite"-- "You did not say that!"

"Sure did," Cordelia's confident voice blared through her earpiece. "And then, get this, I'm all, Donatella, don't even think about teals for Winter. Sapphire is the new teal."

--me up inside, save me from the nothing I've become--

--"almost noon, don't miss your chance to win"--

"You are out of control, Cordelia Chase."

--check out any time you like, but you can never--

"Aren't I? But you haven't heard the best part yet!"

--can't get you out of my head, boy your lovin' is--

"There's more?" Buffy turned up the radio, took a sip of her Iced Nonfat Chai and grinned like the Cheshire Cat. This was what it was all about: carefree joyride in her zoomy Z4, wind in her hair, Kylie on high, new mmm-hottie on her mind, and bestest bud dishing fashionista dirt on her cell.

"-- gave her my down-with-one-strap rant, I kid you not, she gave me her card!"

Buffy gasped. "She did not!"

"Swear it. She said -- fabulous -- wanted me -- fashion week -- York--" her voice cut in and out.

"Wait, wait, I can't hear you -- hold on--" Buffy plucked the amplifier out of her ear and grabbed her phone. "Hello?"

"I think she's totally gonna offer me a job!" Cordelia squealed. "You have to come over and celebrate tonight! Nothing big, of course -- just me and Angel and Harm and--"

"Oh, I wish I could, but I can't! I have to go to Mom's--" Her phone beeped. "Oh crap, phone's dying. Stupid phone. Stupid me for not charging it."

"That's what you get for staying out all night with Parker Abrams..."

"We weren't out all night," a naughty smile crept across her lips. "Just until 3am."

"Buffy! Already?"

"We talked the whole time!" Buffy insisted as the phone beeped again. "He didn't even touch me. Not that I wanted to... you know, yet, but there I was all nice-smelling and freshly waxed, and not even a kiss! Can you believe?"

"The nerve of that guy!" Cordelia commiserated with a laugh. "What man could resist the hotness of you?"

* * *

Spike tossed the empty bottle of Jack over his shoulder.

It met the other two bottles in the back seat with a clank.

"Bloody... fucking... bitch!" he yelled, pounding at the steering wheel with a closed fist for emphasis. The car swerved, and he regained control to hug another mountain curve. "I'll show you."

Her kiss-off looped in his brain:

You've turned soft and sticky! Soft and sticky! Soft...

Eyes determined, fixed on an unbarriered edge, he pushed the gas pedal to the floor. "I'll show you."

* * *

"I mean, look at me," Buffy said, shifting into fifth gear, "I'm smart--"

"And rich--"

"And not unpretty. I've got a killer body--"

"A wardrobe to die for--"

"A shiny new--" As she veered left at the next curve, Buffy's eyes widened. "--car..."

* * *

I'll show you.

A flash of light blinded him briefly -- sun glinting off an oncoming red convertible. Inside it was some chit holding a cellphone.

Fuck me!

Spike stomped on the breaks, tires screeching--

* * *

"Ohmygod, Cordy, ohmy--" Buffy shut her eyes, opened her mouth and let fly a long, end-of-the-line scream.

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