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Crash and Burn

Crash and Burn
By NautiBitz

Info and Author's Notes: See introduction.

Buffy switched off the StairMaster, checked her pulse, and sipped some Evian.

Get your get your get your get get your freak on

Sunlight flooded the exercise room, and Spike entered, wearing nothing but gray boxer briefs. And apparently, he was saying something.

in your face/ open your mouth/ give you a taste

Buffy plucked out her earphones. "What?"

"Said I didn't know you were in here. This off-limits like the house?"

She shrugged, doing everything in her power to keep her eyes away from his lower half. "It's not technically the house, so -- neutral territory. Don't you own any shorts?"

Tiny shake of his head as he looked around. "Just trousers."

Buffy leaned casually against the StairMaster. "I think a shopping trip is in order."

"Don't," he said, striding over to the weight bench.

"Don't what?"

He chose two 25 lb. barbells and slid them into place. "Dress me up to your liking, like you did my car."

"Maybe you'll like it," she challenged, hand on her hip, "like you did your car."

He sighed. "I'm not your bloody Ken doll."

"Who said you were? I'm just trying to--"

"Help? I'll tell you what you can do to help," he said, sitting down on the bench and leaning back. "Spot me."

"Huh?" She fully expected him to say 'Go away, that's how.'

He gestured at the bar with his chin.

Oh, no... standing over him while he... "Shouldn't you wait 'til your hand is healed?"

"It's fine. Gonna help me or not?"

* * *

"Ooh, denied at two-twenty-five!" She helped him pull up the bar and return it to its hinges. "And I was so impressed up until that moment."

"Quiet you," he said, breathing heavily, Adonis-like body sheened in sweat.

A good number of seconds went by before she realized he'd said something else. Look at his eyes. Eyes. Eyes! "Huh?"

"Your turn," he repeated.

"Oh, I don't bench press--"

"C'mon, Summers." He sat up, patting his face with a towel. "Let's see what you got."

"But... it's all covered in your nasty boy-sweat."

He wiped off the bench, picked up her towel and laid it down. "Better?"

"No. I can still smell it."


With a whine, she switched places with him. "Okay but if I start bulging with man muscles it's gonna be all your fault."

"You're not gonna bulge," he laughed, rolling off the heavy weights.

She lay back and looked up. "Yeah, speaking of, this is why you need shorts."

He gasped and teased, "Naughty Buffy... Lookin' at my bulge."

"It's right in my face! How can I not?"

"By lookin' at the bar that's about to crush your chest."

"Oh," she took it from him, and lifted and lowered it with ease. "This is nothing. Gimme more."

"Next set," he said, smiling down at her.

* * *

"Will you just quit while you're ahead?" he replied to her insistence that he pile another set of barbells on. "No way you're gonna make it."

"Oh yeah?" she asked between pants. "You think so, huh?"

"You have tiny arms! You can't possibly lift a hundred pounds."

She smiled saucily. "Wanna bet?"

"Oh, please..." But, then again, Spike was never one to turn down a wager. "Stakes?"

"If I make this, you let me take you to Nordstrom's."

He narrowed his eyes, raised a brow. "And if you don't?"

"Anything you want."

A slow, wicked grin. "Oh, you're on."

* * *


"No." Spike looked both embarrassed and bored out of his mind.

"These?" She held up another pair of shorts.

"Definitely not."


"What are you trying to do? Turn me gay?"

She giggled. "Okay, point." She put that one down.

"This is humiliating."

"Aha! This is it, I can feel it." She held up a black pair and pressed her cheek against it. "And so soft too."

He squinted. "Gonna be nuzzling my crotch?"


He rolled his eyes. "Those are alright, I guess."

"Perfect. Now go try them on."

"No bloody way! Look, if they don't fit I'll return them."

Buffy sighed, shaking her head. Men.

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Title illustration by Mike Segawa
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